Christians are straight up FREAKS
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
