i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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