Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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