Sponge bath it is.
i will never coherently bang her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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