they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
