I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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