Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
