His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
