Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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