I love black thongs
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
nutella sex= disaster
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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