i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
