I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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