Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
