um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
