So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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