I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
