But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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