she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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