so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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