Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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