Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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