i can't believe i had my finger in that
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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