I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
