Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
