return my video game
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They are going to name an STD after you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
