i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
