you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
