They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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