My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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