If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
