I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
