Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
