best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
