hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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