Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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