THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
