They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's never too late to be topless.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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