She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
