5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
