She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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