whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
