In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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