he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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