At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
