Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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