I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
