I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
