it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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