I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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