i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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